My Dilemma
Hello Fellow Bloggers,
I've come to a very confusing realization lately (oxymoronic enough?). It not only cleared things up for me but also left me even more confused! (Curious? Well.......read on........)
So, I mentioned in my very first post about my 'sorta-kinda' boyfriend that lives down south right? Well, before I go any further about him, let me give you a little run down about what's been happening with me lately......Around the beginning of this year is when I realized that my job was not fulfilling to me and I wanted more out of life than to be a slave to Corporate America. You see, I had a very well paying job as a Sales and Marketing Executive at a very succesful publishing company. However, even though I loved the all the perks and incentives that came with such a job (and there were PLENTY of them), I did not have a passion for this job and decided I wanted to do something more rewarding. Long story short I quit my job to go back to nursing school. Now this means I have no source of income so I've basically been living off my savings. Now that I'm completely broke, you would think my 'boyfriend' would have my back financially till I get back on my feet right? Oh, no............even though I have not come out and asked him for financial help (which I shouldn't have to), he has not offered to help me out at all!! Now you know this is pissing me off and I'm watching to see how long before he actually acknowledges that as my 'man' he's supposed to hold me down as I would do for him if it ever came down to it. Mind you.......he calls me every single day, more than once, and talks as if everything is just fine!! The whole twisted side to this story is that there is this other dude that I've know forever who just recently moved to England. He's had a crush on me for years but we never really hooked up. Now can you believe that this dude has been sending me money to help out with the bills etc. and he ain't never even been up in this??!!??
Hence my 'eye-opening' experience............the guy who I do love and who professes to love me is really a disappointment and the dude who I 'know' loves me but I don't love him is the one who has been there for me! So, I realize the old saying - "better to be with someone who loves you than someone who you love" - has proven true in this particular case...........but then what happens to the saying - "If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love" (by Princess Diana)??? Now do you understand my confusion? Why can love and life be so complicated at times? I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm excited about the direction things are going and here I am confused about my love-life (or lack thereof). I know this blog is kinda long but this is something I needed to get out. I do start a new part-time job next week so things will be a little better. Oh well....thanks for listening/reading!
I've come to a very confusing realization lately (oxymoronic enough?). It not only cleared things up for me but also left me even more confused! (Curious? Well.......read on........)
So, I mentioned in my very first post about my 'sorta-kinda' boyfriend that lives down south right? Well, before I go any further about him, let me give you a little run down about what's been happening with me lately......Around the beginning of this year is when I realized that my job was not fulfilling to me and I wanted more out of life than to be a slave to Corporate America. You see, I had a very well paying job as a Sales and Marketing Executive at a very succesful publishing company. However, even though I loved the all the perks and incentives that came with such a job (and there were PLENTY of them), I did not have a passion for this job and decided I wanted to do something more rewarding. Long story short I quit my job to go back to nursing school. Now this means I have no source of income so I've basically been living off my savings. Now that I'm completely broke, you would think my 'boyfriend' would have my back financially till I get back on my feet right? Oh, no............even though I have not come out and asked him for financial help (which I shouldn't have to), he has not offered to help me out at all!! Now you know this is pissing me off and I'm watching to see how long before he actually acknowledges that as my 'man' he's supposed to hold me down as I would do for him if it ever came down to it. Mind you.......he calls me every single day, more than once, and talks as if everything is just fine!! The whole twisted side to this story is that there is this other dude that I've know forever who just recently moved to England. He's had a crush on me for years but we never really hooked up. Now can you believe that this dude has been sending me money to help out with the bills etc. and he ain't never even been up in this??!!??
Hence my 'eye-opening' experience............the guy who I do love and who professes to love me is really a disappointment and the dude who I 'know' loves me but I don't love him is the one who has been there for me! So, I realize the old saying - "better to be with someone who loves you than someone who you love" - has proven true in this particular case...........but then what happens to the saying - "If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love" (by Princess Diana)??? Now do you understand my confusion? Why can love and life be so complicated at times? I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm excited about the direction things are going and here I am confused about my love-life (or lack thereof). I know this blog is kinda long but this is something I needed to get out. I do start a new part-time job next week so things will be a little better. Oh well....thanks for listening/reading!
1 Comments:
Okay CutieC.. I don’t know the full story, so I will respond based on what I am reading.
I must say we have something in common I left my job because I was not happy, but when I made such decision I spoke to my boyfriend first to see how he felt about it. I expressed to him that I need to leave and will need him to help me out. He agreed and we are still surviving up until today! Thank God.
Anyway, my question is did you ask him to hold you down? **Not taking sides** but in my opinion you need to communicate your situation (If you haven’t already).
Does Mr. Love you; know that you don’t love him and still taking his money? If not, you are leading him on and possibly leading yourself into trouble.
In reference to this: If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love" (by Princess Diana. MY ANSWER: I interpret this to mean if you love them hold on to the memory of the love you once had because holding on to someone that doesn’t care about you will lead you into confusion and you will stop concentrating on yourself trying to figure out something that is not worth figuring.
Last, but not least, Mr. Love, loves you. You don’t love Mr. Love. Mr. Long Distance doesn’t seem to care, so you should at least look into the one who love you because like you said Mr. Long Distance is “Sorta-Kinda” your boyfriend, so stop being confused, used and cheating yourself, concentrate on YOU and move on!
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