Man In The Mirror
We have been talking a lot about keeping it real lately and this blog is along those same lines. I have a dear friend that's been going through some rough times in her love life lately and this guy that she's in love with has hurt her deeply. Now after them breaking up for a few months and she's started to move on with her life, he comes back asking her to give 'them' another chance. Now of course my friend is extremely confused but happy non-the-less that this relationship that she wants so badly just might happen, so she is very excited about where this might lead (AND scared at the same time).
My friend called me the morning after her talk with her (ex)boyfriend and told me about the whole encounter and asked for advice on how she should approach the situation. As a good friend I told her that I'm happy for her that things might work out and that she should just be careful to guard her heart as much as possible. She then asked me a very difficult question:- 'Do you think I should not have met with him at all and just told him to f**k off?? ' Well, to tell the truth, this is exactly what I was thinking she should have done, and I told her that, but I also told her that if I was in her shoes I would have done the same thing she did. She then told a few other friends of hers about the same situation and they immediately condemned her for talking to him after what he did to her.
My whole point in writing this is to ask why do people act like they are so perfect or flawless when they are on the outside looking in? When one is in love, one tends to do stupid things at times; is it then your job as a friend to look down on, condemn or pour salt in the wounds of a friend in their weak moment? It's obvious that my friend was kinda taken off guard when her (ex)boyfriend called her up, but because of her feelings for him, she couldn't resist hearing what he wanted to say. How many of us have been in this situation? And how many of us have done the same exact thing she did? Does this mean it was the smartest move? Probably not, but can you honestly say that you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?? It just urks me to know that when someone goes to a friend in their time of doubt and confusion, instead of assuring this friend that she didn't do anything any other human being in love wouldn't do, she is made to feel dumb, stupid, naive, gullible or even weak!
'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone!'
My friend called me the morning after her talk with her (ex)boyfriend and told me about the whole encounter and asked for advice on how she should approach the situation. As a good friend I told her that I'm happy for her that things might work out and that she should just be careful to guard her heart as much as possible. She then asked me a very difficult question:- 'Do you think I should not have met with him at all and just told him to f**k off?? ' Well, to tell the truth, this is exactly what I was thinking she should have done, and I told her that, but I also told her that if I was in her shoes I would have done the same thing she did. She then told a few other friends of hers about the same situation and they immediately condemned her for talking to him after what he did to her.
My whole point in writing this is to ask why do people act like they are so perfect or flawless when they are on the outside looking in? When one is in love, one tends to do stupid things at times; is it then your job as a friend to look down on, condemn or pour salt in the wounds of a friend in their weak moment? It's obvious that my friend was kinda taken off guard when her (ex)boyfriend called her up, but because of her feelings for him, she couldn't resist hearing what he wanted to say. How many of us have been in this situation? And how many of us have done the same exact thing she did? Does this mean it was the smartest move? Probably not, but can you honestly say that you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?? It just urks me to know that when someone goes to a friend in their time of doubt and confusion, instead of assuring this friend that she didn't do anything any other human being in love wouldn't do, she is made to feel dumb, stupid, naive, gullible or even weak!
'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone!'
6 Comments:
Thanks for caring enough to write about me and my situation.
You're the best!
:)
I think we all have (or have had) that one person who we would run back to in a heartbeat regardless of what happened between us in the past. It's like the old saying goes "if you don't learn from the past, you are doomed to repeat it". No matter what advice you would have gave your friend, it sounds to me like she would have gone back to him. This is when its the most difficult to be a friend. When they ask you for advice, do you tell them what you think, or what they want to hear. I think I would have supported her decision to go back because the best lessons are learned first hand. That being said, I would also be wrapping a towel around my shoulder when she needs a place to cry if/when he hurts her again. *SINGING* THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR. . . FOR GOOD TIMES . . . FOR BAD TIME . . . KNOWING YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME . . . FOR SURE . . . THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR. Where's Stevie Wonder with that harmonica solo?
Organized.........my sentiments exactly! I couln't have put it any better!! Thanks a lot, it's good to have a man's point of view as well. Kudos.
The heart does what it wants. It breaks, it throbs and it forgives. I hope it works out for her.
So so hard. I have tried to always be honest with my friends. I let them know what I think about the situation but I ALWAYS let them know that no matter what, I am going to support them in their decision and I'll be there with Ice-cream and cake if we need to do some crying
Speaking form experience. Love is definetly blind. "Anonymous" will learn from her own experience. No one can teach you how to feel for another person. We ask advice because most of the time we know that is something that we should not be doing. In the end, we learn from our mistakes and become wiser. Just do what you feel is right and if you shall fall CutieC will be there to help you pickup the pieces.
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