Shame On You If He Fooled You Twice.....(or more)
This is a very hard subject for me to write about, but I feel that if I blog about it I will let off some steam.
I have a very, very close friend of mine and in about 30 minutes she has changed my outlook on her completely. We all have had our share of relationship woes so I'm not trying to make it seem that I'm any better than her. The situation is that she has been going with this guy for a while and has 2 children by him. He has dissed her on many occasions by cheating on her, telling her very hurtful things and the ultimate.......he BEAT her! Now my friend hid this last piece of information from myself and her family for a very long time until it got so bad she decided to leave and that's when we all found out. When she moved out she began to share a lot of the things that went on between them and frankly, I was kinda hurt that she never confided in me all this time. I thought we had a very tight relationship because I tell her practically everything and I believed she did the same, but I was so wrong.
Last night we were talking and she came out and told me that she was back with him! She actually admitted that she got back with him a few months ago. Mind you, she has gone back to him more than once in the past but I never butted in (I also never knew about the beatings then). This time I flew off the handle and she got very defensive and felt that there is nothing wrong with her actions. I was extremely pissed off at her because I have listened to her cry to me and tell me how he used to beat her to the point where she started vomiting and he hit her in the face so bad that her eyes were swollen shut etc. Now, she's telling me that that's where her 'heart' is and I'll 'get over it'!! She even went as far as to say that she's the one that 'caused' him to beat her!! She says things are different now and I'll just have to accept it just like her family has. Mind you, she has left him several times before and each time she went back to him she said things were different and he always went back to his old ways. Why then would she believe that this time is not like the last few times?? I care a lot about her and I guess that's why I'm taking it so personal.
How could she go back to a man that beat her mercilessly!! I know she's grown and she doesn't have to answer to me, but I am so dissapointed in her. Everytime I think about it I get so upset. I told her that I don't want to hear anything from her if things go sour. I told her she was acting foolishly and I cannot accept the fact that she doesn't want better for herself. She even said that she knows that I won't call her for 2-3 months but I'll be 'okay'. In my head I'm thinking that something is seriously wrong with her thought process. I guess when one is in love they do what they believe is best for them. I can see if this was a one-time incident and she forgave him, but this has happened more than once and she has left him and had the chance to reflect on the relationship and yet, she's back with him!
I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. I know I've been a fool for love, but this, in my opinion, is downright MORONIC!! I just pray that she will come to her senses soon.
I have a very, very close friend of mine and in about 30 minutes she has changed my outlook on her completely. We all have had our share of relationship woes so I'm not trying to make it seem that I'm any better than her. The situation is that she has been going with this guy for a while and has 2 children by him. He has dissed her on many occasions by cheating on her, telling her very hurtful things and the ultimate.......he BEAT her! Now my friend hid this last piece of information from myself and her family for a very long time until it got so bad she decided to leave and that's when we all found out. When she moved out she began to share a lot of the things that went on between them and frankly, I was kinda hurt that she never confided in me all this time. I thought we had a very tight relationship because I tell her practically everything and I believed she did the same, but I was so wrong.
Last night we were talking and she came out and told me that she was back with him! She actually admitted that she got back with him a few months ago. Mind you, she has gone back to him more than once in the past but I never butted in (I also never knew about the beatings then). This time I flew off the handle and she got very defensive and felt that there is nothing wrong with her actions. I was extremely pissed off at her because I have listened to her cry to me and tell me how he used to beat her to the point where she started vomiting and he hit her in the face so bad that her eyes were swollen shut etc. Now, she's telling me that that's where her 'heart' is and I'll 'get over it'!! She even went as far as to say that she's the one that 'caused' him to beat her!! She says things are different now and I'll just have to accept it just like her family has. Mind you, she has left him several times before and each time she went back to him she said things were different and he always went back to his old ways. Why then would she believe that this time is not like the last few times?? I care a lot about her and I guess that's why I'm taking it so personal.
How could she go back to a man that beat her mercilessly!! I know she's grown and she doesn't have to answer to me, but I am so dissapointed in her. Everytime I think about it I get so upset. I told her that I don't want to hear anything from her if things go sour. I told her she was acting foolishly and I cannot accept the fact that she doesn't want better for herself. She even said that she knows that I won't call her for 2-3 months but I'll be 'okay'. In my head I'm thinking that something is seriously wrong with her thought process. I guess when one is in love they do what they believe is best for them. I can see if this was a one-time incident and she forgave him, but this has happened more than once and she has left him and had the chance to reflect on the relationship and yet, she's back with him!
I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. I know I've been a fool for love, but this, in my opinion, is downright MORONIC!! I just pray that she will come to her senses soon.
12 Comments:
I think your friend is either scared (scared of him or scared of being alone) or is trying to do right by her children. Either way, I agree with you, she should not be with him. But, it doesn't look like we can do anything about that, so the question goes back to you . . . what are you going to do? Can you accept it and be here friend or voice your opinion and move on? And as far as you being upset about her withholding information, somethings are not as easy to tell someone, regardless of how close you are. There is something in my life, that I will eventually blog about, that my mother still doesn't know about and it took my best friend 3 years to find out about. Some things are hard to relive. You try to block it out. You have a lot of reasons to be upset with your friend, just don't be mad at her for not telling you.
Cutie, she is a grown ass woman...if this is where she want's to be then you have to let her. No amount of concern on your part will be welcomed right now.
Leave her and try to be there for her as much as you can be.....that's all you can do, hopefully she will come to her sense and leave for good one day!
Smooches :(
Unfortunately as much as we love our friends we cant make choices for them. Its very frustrating to be on the outside looking in but all you can do as a friend is be that shoulder to cry on.
Your friend needs help and quickly..Is there something like woman beaters anonymous. Pray for her and her children and hope that one day she'll come to here senses before it's too late
I would contact a domestic violence organization and find out how you can help her. She may want help but not know how to get out. I am praying for the day that laws make assault charges stick even when the "scared" woman drops them against the man who beat her. I'm praying for that day.
I've heard and witness this story before. I had a neighbor at the apartment where I used to live. Her borfriend used to beat her all the while and basically contorlled what she did. One time he was beating her so bad that we (me and the other neighbors) heard it and heard her cyring for help. We went up banging on the door and threatening to kick it off in order to stop the beating. Homeboy kicked homegirl in her throat! Could have killed her. And he even threaten to kill her. Any she swore she would never even deal with another man. Only to hear from the shout, a few eeks later she and homebwoy back together again. My view: If him lick yuhonce him wi do it again, leave dat bastard. If him beat yuh more than once and yuh still go back with him, yuh deserve it.
I have not seen you on the show in a month of Sundays....Wassup with that?
I have someone like this in my life, but it is nothing that I can do because it is easy for the person not being affected to see the wrong doing and fix them, but it much harder for the person being affected to make change.
Her eyes will open in her time.
CutieC, shame on you for not posting since OCtober!!
Happy Halloween! Happy Thanks Giving and Merry Christmas, Oh and happy new year..
Happy Holidays.. check out my Dec 24th Post.
Uh Oh could it be??? You coming out of hiatus??
Gurl hurry up we waiting for ya! *smile*
Merry Xmas, and all the best for the coming New Year!
~Smooches~
p.s. luv the new pic! Very sexual! *wink*
ATTENTION : Where in he world is CUTIE COLA????????
Hey you still around?
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