Romance In The Workplace
How many of you guys have been involved with someone on your job? Well I've done it once and it was a total disaster! This guy always wanted to be all over me even though we agreed to keep things on the hush. He would always want me to go with him on the stairs so I could kiss him before he goes back to work. Now, I'm not saying I wasn't attracted to him or that I didn't want to kiss him as well, but I knew that our relationship had to remain as much outside of work as was possible. Luckily, shortly after we started dating, I accepted another job offer at a different company. The relationship didn't last much longer after that because it was then that I realized how possessive he was and how much he liked having us work in the same company together. He started to get paranoid and started to want to 'CLOCK' me!! I DON'T PLAY THAT SH#T!! I had to cut his ass loose, he seriously had control issues and it didn't even dawn on me till I wasn't under his watchful eye anymore!
Now........fast forward to today...........there's this man (my supervisor) at my new job that has a crush on me. He has admitted it to me and I told him right off that I have a boyfriend and I'm not into the fooling around thing. How about this fool started to hang around me like all the time, and he keeps bringing me little things/gifts and writing me little notes. The thing that is bothering me though, is that he came up to me today (without any warning whatsoever), threw his arms around me, picked me up off the floor and spun me around! This is a man that doesn't talk much to ANYONE at the job so you can imagine how unusual this looked. He did this in front of everyone and it pissed me off. Only God knows what ppl are saying/thinking behind my back. Now there's a 'weirdness' between us and I wish he didn't take it there. How dare he??? I felt so violated!! I've decided to just go on as if it never even happened because I know that the more I make of it, is the more the rest of the staff will make of it. What's your opinion on office romances? Am I taking his advances too seriously? Or should I just brush it off, let him know not to do it again, and move the hell on? (I'm leaning toward the latter.................).
Now........fast forward to today...........there's this man (my supervisor) at my new job that has a crush on me. He has admitted it to me and I told him right off that I have a boyfriend and I'm not into the fooling around thing. How about this fool started to hang around me like all the time, and he keeps bringing me little things/gifts and writing me little notes. The thing that is bothering me though, is that he came up to me today (without any warning whatsoever), threw his arms around me, picked me up off the floor and spun me around! This is a man that doesn't talk much to ANYONE at the job so you can imagine how unusual this looked. He did this in front of everyone and it pissed me off. Only God knows what ppl are saying/thinking behind my back. Now there's a 'weirdness' between us and I wish he didn't take it there. How dare he??? I felt so violated!! I've decided to just go on as if it never even happened because I know that the more I make of it, is the more the rest of the staff will make of it. What's your opinion on office romances? Am I taking his advances too seriously? Or should I just brush it off, let him know not to do it again, and move the hell on? (I'm leaning toward the latter.................).
9 Comments:
HELL TO THE NAW!!!!!
If you wanna find out WHY then you better tune into the show today!
LOL
Ciao!
Sounds Like Sexually harassment to me. You need to let him know that your uncomfortable with it.
In my case, when my boss who I was cool with, started taking "cool" to "hot." I had to put the brakes on his advancments. I tell you the same, from my experience, it be best to set the record straight, that you don't like, and the feelings are not mutual. I'm not one for office romance, I don't like too see anyone I'm dating 24/7 like that. I need breathing, and eye space. I like to miss ya.
CutieC:
Thank God for Business Law Class, Whether you know it or not THIS IS HARASSMENT! I do not condone romance in the workplace because it almost always turns out to be a disaster. If you don’t know, now you know that there are two types of harassment.
…1) "Quid pro quo" harassment occurs when decisions regarding employment are promised, threatened or given, based upon whether or not one or more employees will submit to sexually-oriented conduct. Quid pro quo sexual harassment is far broader than the blatant, "if you want this job [or promotion or vacation time or reassignment], you’ll have to go to bed with me" statements.
(2) "Hostile environment" sexual harassment occurs where the sexually-oriented conduct creates an offensive and unpleasant working environment.
HE HAS DEFINETLY CREATED A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT FOR YOU, THEREFORE MAKING IT HARASSMENT
You felt violated because he was “OUT OF ORDER” and it just wasn’t right! Who the hell does he think he is? I wish I were you for a split second, Him and I would have definitely had words. I hope that this doesn’t create difficulties for you that would be messed up! I don’t think that you should act like nothing happened, because now he may think you liked it and may do it again and this time his hand may be on you ass. I think you should have addressed it right away. If he does this again please address him.
Also, now you need to get a notebook and start writing down thing that he does or say to you that make you feel violated. Be sure to include: Date, Time, What Happened, How you felt, your reaction, and the ACTION YOU TOOK (because next time you will hopefully say something). Good Luck!
@Everyone - Thanks so much for the good advice. You all are very right!
@MeCrazyMe - Girl, you hit the nail on the head! I had vague ideas about lines that should not be crossed but now I have FACTS! Plus, the idea of keeping notes is excellent!
For the record, I did tell him today that what he did was not appreciated and he apologized. I'll keep it at that for now but will definitely make a note of it.
**choking up** You guys are the best! THANKS!
Do you need me to come and put that guy in his place?
I've had a sexual relationship with a co-worker before (although if I could go back, it would be with a different co-worker). We were able to keep it out of the office for the most part . . . except for that one day in November 2 years ago . . . oh, the memories. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend them, but at the same time, you can't help who you're attracted to, so i can't say it wouldn't happen again (I can say that it won't happen again at my current job out of respect for her).
@SBB - Girl, I told him straight today.......I tried not to be nasty and he apologized. Hope that's the end of that.
@Sonyared - That's that bullshit right there!! It's one thing to have to cut a man loose, but God forbid it's someone that you have to work with!
@Organized - How soon can you get here?? He don't know my 'peeps' got my back?? :-) I will never mess with anybody from my job again. It just makes things way more complicated than necessary.
Good Morning Cutie!
I've been there and done that with the whole kissing in the stairway thing. They never want to keep it on the low though because men are territorial. To stand by and listen to comments that the next brother is making about you is torture.
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