Man In The Mirror

We have been talking a lot about keeping it real lately and this blog is along those same lines. I have a dear friend that's been going through some rough times in her love life lately and this guy that she's in love with has hurt her deeply. Now after them breaking up for a few months and she's started to move on with her life, he comes back asking her to give 'them' another chance. Now of course my friend is extremely confused but happy non-the-less that this relationship that she wants so badly just might happen, so she is very excited about where this might lead (AND scared at the same time).

My friend called me the morning after her talk with her (ex)boyfriend and told me about the whole encounter and asked for advice on how she should approach the situation. As a good friend I told her that I'm happy for her that things might work out and that she should just be careful to guard her heart as much as possible. She then asked me a very difficult question:- 'Do you think I should not have met with him at all and just told him to f**k off?? ' Well, to tell the truth, this is exactly what I was thinking she should have done, and I told her that, but I also told her that if I was in her shoes I would have done the same thing she did. She then told a few other friends of hers about the same situation and they immediately condemned her for talking to him after what he did to her.

My whole point in writing this is to ask why do people act like they are so perfect or flawless when they are on the outside looking in? When one is in love, one tends to do stupid things at times; is it then your job as a friend to look down on, condemn or pour salt in the wounds of a friend in their weak moment? It's obvious that my friend was kinda taken off guard when her (ex)boyfriend called her up, but because of her feelings for him, she couldn't resist hearing what he wanted to say. How many of us have been in this situation? And how many of us have done the same exact thing she did? Does this mean it was the smartest move? Probably not, but can you honestly say that you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?? It just urks me to know that when someone goes to a friend in their time of doubt and confusion, instead of assuring this friend that she didn't do anything any other human being in love wouldn't do, she is made to feel dumb, stupid, naive, gullible or even weak!

'Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone!'

Pat Myself On The Back

Hi Everyone!

I just want to share my joy with all y'all. So today was my last day of school for this semester (Anatomy and Physiology). Today was also Finals day. So.................I did my final exam and we all waited around for about an hour and we actually got our results. We were even told what final grade we got for the course. So..............guess what my grade is?? ......................I GOT AN A+!!!!! Can you believe it!! I've never gotten an A+ in any class! I've gotten A's but never an A+ (can you feel the excitement?!?!?!). I worked my ass off in this class and now I couldn't be happier. I just hope I can do just as good (or as close to it as possible) for my future classes.

So you know I'm going out to celebrate tomorrow...........a friend of mine is taking me out to dinner. Afterwards, I plan to drink the night away :-)

Thanks for all your support guys............and thanks for even giving a damn.

B.O. - There's No Excuse!

Okay, so this is something that just HAS to be said about Body Odor. Why is it that some people be leaving their homes smelling like they haven't showered in days OR they've never heard of the word *Deordorant*!!

There's this particular girl in my class that sits right next to me that comes in everyday smelling like she just rolled out of bed and came straight to school! Firstly, this is a very young girl (19 yrs old) who you would expect to pay more attention to her hygiene. She has a very, very strong smell that seems to just stain the air as she enters the room..........I mean the kind of fumes that sticks to the back of your throat and puts your trachea in a death grip!! Once this girl gets through the door, everybody turns their heads (away) and roll their eyes. I have to keep my hand to my face half the time just to get a breath of 'odorless' air!

So............today I decided I had to say something, so after class, I took her aside and spoke to her - in the nicest way possible:-

Me:- "B.O. Girl, do you wear deodorant?"
B.O. Girl:- "Yes I do"
Me:- "Well, I don't want you to get offended, but you do have a very strong odor and it's not very pleasant"
B.O. Girl:- "Are you trying to tell me something?"

* DUUUUUHHHHH!!!!!!!*

Me:- "Ah, yeah, you do kinda smell funky and it's noticable by others in the class"
B.O. Girl - "Well I do use deodorant and I don't think I smell"
Me:- "Well, you do, and I just thought I should say it to you. Maybe you should try using a different deodorant"
B.O. Girl:- "Well I don't think I smell that bad, I've smelled worse"

At this point I just left it alone, but at least now she's aware that she's offending people and might take a bit more care in her personal hygiene. How do people walk around smelling like that? My god you can even get deodorant at the 99cent store now! On top of that, it's the summer and NY have been very hot and humid lately! Anyway, this was just something that needed to be said. I'm just glad that this is the last week of this summer semester, then it's 'no more B.O. Girl'!!!!!

My Dilemma

Hello Fellow Bloggers,

I've come to a very confusing realization lately (oxymoronic enough?). It not only cleared things up for me but also left me even more confused! (Curious? Well.......read on........)

So, I mentioned in my very first post about my 'sorta-kinda' boyfriend that lives down south right? Well, before I go any further about him, let me give you a little run down about what's been happening with me lately......Around the beginning of this year is when I realized that my job was not fulfilling to me and I wanted more out of life than to be a slave to Corporate America. You see, I had a very well paying job as a Sales and Marketing Executive at a very succesful publishing company. However, even though I loved the all the perks and incentives that came with such a job (and there were PLENTY of them), I did not have a passion for this job and decided I wanted to do something more rewarding. Long story short I quit my job to go back to nursing school. Now this means I have no source of income so I've basically been living off my savings. Now that I'm completely broke, you would think my 'boyfriend' would have my back financially till I get back on my feet right? Oh, no............even though I have not come out and asked him for financial help (which I shouldn't have to), he has not offered to help me out at all!! Now you know this is pissing me off and I'm watching to see how long before he actually acknowledges that as my 'man' he's supposed to hold me down as I would do for him if it ever came down to it. Mind you.......he calls me every single day, more than once, and talks as if everything is just fine!! The whole twisted side to this story is that there is this other dude that I've know forever who just recently moved to England. He's had a crush on me for years but we never really hooked up. Now can you believe that this dude has been sending me money to help out with the bills etc. and he ain't never even been up in this??!!??

Hence my 'eye-opening' experience............the guy who I do love and who professes to love me is really a disappointment and the dude who I 'know' loves me but I don't love him is the one who has been there for me! So, I realize the old saying - "better to be with someone who loves you than someone who you love" - has proven true in this particular case...........but then what happens to the saying - "If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love" (by Princess Diana)??? Now do you understand my confusion? Why can love and life be so complicated at times? I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm excited about the direction things are going and here I am confused about my love-life (or lack thereof). I know this blog is kinda long but this is something I needed to get out. I do start a new part-time job next week so things will be a little better. Oh well....thanks for listening/reading!

Tooting My Own Horn

Okay..........so I don't want to seem like I'm bragging (Lord knows I'm not the braggy type) but I've been doing so well in school lately that I honestly surprise myself!! I'm doing Anatomy and Physiology in this summer module and let me tell you, it's no walk in the park!! I've done quite a few exams since this semester started and I've passed all of them! The lowest grade I've gotten so far is 95 % on 2 exams.......all the rest have been 105% (5% extra credit). I'm so happy and excited to be back in school, I feel way more mentally ready to take on the challenges of collge than back then. I know I should have been done with school by now, but I kinda got sidetracked halfway through and.................you know the rest.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my joy. I'm so proud of me and hope that this is an indication of things to come. If I keep it up, I might get an A+ in this class. I have 4 exams left. 1 this week and 3 next week. Last day is 28th. You can picture me now with a nice chilled bottle of Sancerre next Thursday evening!

I will keep you guys updated on my progress if you're interested. In the meantime, pray for me. I might be your nurse one day! (Scary huh??)

This Is Hilarious

Got this in and email yesterday and thought I'd share it. Some of you might have heard this one before. I think it's funny though. Enjoy!

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you" To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too "

Another Poem For Your Reading Pleasure

WHAT DO YOU SEE??

What do you see when you look at me??
Do you see a WOMAN………..
Worn and tattered, lonely and looking for love
Smiling on the outside but depressed and ravaged on the inside
Struggling to make ends meet and barely keeping
Her head above water?

What do you see when you look at me??
Do you see a MOTHER……..
Loving her son with every fibre of her being,
Worried about her son's future, hopes and dreams,
Scared for the unknown and uncertainties that lay before him,
Sacrificing each day for the sake of her seed?

What do you see when you look at me??
Do you see a DAUGHTER…….
Missing her mother like a 5 yr old child
Dreaming of days when her mom held her close
Yearning for the security of her mothers touch
Wishing she could curl up in her mothers arms
And will all her troubles away?

Do you see these things when you look at me??
No you don’t……………
You see the person you want to see

In your eyes I am a strong independent woman,
Assertive and decisive, black and beautiful,
Sexy and desireable.
You see a career woman, going after what she wants,
Not afraid of taking chances, loves life and living,
You see a mother who will move heaven and earth for her child,
One who doesn’t waver on making her child happy

Is that what you see when you look at me??
Yes you……….there, in the mirror……..
I see you watching me, I hope you know…….there’s more to me!!

My Poetic Side

MARK MY WORDS

‘Lonliness’, such and ugly word!
One of the worst I’ve ever heard!

When you are lonely does this mean you’re alone?
When you are lonely are you on your own?

On the contrary my dear! The opposite is true………
Though you might feel lonely, scared or blue,

You are not alone, no NEVER my friend
Just close your eyes, I’m just around the bend!

Whisper my name out into the air
I will feel your presence, your voice I will hear

I’ll embrace my thoughts as if it were you……
If you feel my embrace, please savour it too

As long as you have me (rest assured that you do)
You’ll never be alone, this I promise you!

Just Chillin'

Well, today is another day to sit around and just take it easy. I love weekends..........one feels so relaxed and carefree! I lay in bed till around midday, then I get some grub and more than likely climb right back in bed. then in the late afternoon I'll probably go out for some fresh air.

You see.......I live alone and I basically do what I want, when I want. It's the best feeling! Don't get me wrong........I do have a life. I am a mother of a 10 year old son but my son is going to school in the Caribbean (way better educational system). I miss him dearly and hate that he's not here with me, but I had to make a very tough decision when I pulled him out of public school here. Now he's doing very, very well (top of his class) and I do get to see him on summer holidays, Christmas and sometimes over the Easter. He will be going to school there for another 2 years - he will graduate then - and I will be done with nursing school at the same time. So....it all works out perfectly. By that time, he'll be coming home to go to middle school.

I also do, kinda-sorta, have a boyfriend. I say 'kinda-sorta' because he lives all the way down south and I live in the north east! Yeah, yeah I know...........'long distance relationships never work out', but I'm giving this one a shot. So far so good. We talk on the phone all the time and we visit each other occasionaly (although I must say I haven't seen him in over 3 months now). I'ts very hard not to get frustrated, but being in school really helps to take some of the stress off my mind. Right now, I'm thinking it might not work out after all because I feel he should be making a bigger effort to bring his ass to my side of town, but I'm just gonna leave it in God's hands. In the meanwhile, my first priority is to get excellent grades in school.

Thanks for listening!!

My First Time

Hi everyone,

This is my first time joining this great online community. I am glad to have discovered something like this where I am free to share my feelings with anyone who wishes to view them.

I'm home today. I am a full time nursing student but only have classes Monday - Thursday....so i guess you could say this is My Friday. It feels good to just relax today. I've been hitting the books really hard (sometimes i'm up till 3 in the morning), but today I will do nothing but chill.

I'm very happy to be back in school and must say I'm doing extremely well! I am so proud of me and so are my close friends......I just can't wait to see what the future holds! I'm hoping to go to medical school after graduating. My dream is to study Neurology. I'll keep you updated on my progress and hope to one day say my dream has come true!

Later!